


Sometimes, your Best Friend is your Boyfriend for a Few Minutes

by matterbaby



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: (aka man at bar does not know when to fuck off), Drinking, Fake Dating, M/M, but? something in that range, drunk shane to the rescue, first kiss ig, men being the way men are, not really a love confession or anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matterbaby/pseuds/matterbaby
Summary: "Shane was absolutely wasted, and it was very obvious as he spoke. 'How dare you talk to m’ boyfriend like that,' he slurred slightly. 'You— I— my fist should be in your nuts right now, you jackass.'"Or, Ryan has a very drunk Shane pretend to be his boyfriend for a couple of minutes to get someone to leave him alone.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 10
Kudos: 182
Collections: Shyan Shipping Society - NYE Exchange





	Sometimes, your Best Friend is your Boyfriend for a Few Minutes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Steeella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steeella/gifts).



> Hi Stella!!! I wrote this in a day because I have bad time management skills, sorry about that <3 
> 
> I hope this isn't terrible!!! Sorry it's so short

Ryan was uncomfortable with the man that had taken up the empty barstool next to him. He’d tried at least ten different ways to subtly say he wasn’t interested, noncommittal insinutations that he was taken, but the man just kept going. He was a douchebag named Kyle, and Ryan wasn’t sure how many more of his gross flirty jokes he could take. 

Shane had been acting like a jackass on the dance floor, making an absolute fool of himself after having five drinks. He came back over to Ryan now, slightly sweaty and out of breath. “Oh! Kyle!” Ryan said. He’d have to either apologize to or thank Shane for this after, but an opportunity was an opportunity. “This is my boyfriend, Shane.” 

If Shane was surprised, he didn’t let it show. Shane was a smart man, and even as drunk as he was, he was always able to pick up Ryan’s bits seamlessly and play along. “Ryan, baby! Hey!” 

When he was drunk, Shane was a man completely without shame or inhibition. Ryan’s known this for a while, has gotten drunk with Shane enough times to know he’ll follow along with whatever without thinking twice, so he should’ve seen it coming when Shane grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him into a kiss. 

He expected— as much as he could’ve expected anything— a sloppy, quick peck on the lips, something for show. Not the all-too-real kiss Shane gave him, lips moving slowly against Ryan’s. When Shane pulled away it was too soon, and Ryan felt dizzy with it. 

“So. Who’s this?” Shane wrapped an arm around Ryan’s shoulders and smiled at Dickhead of the Year Kyle.

Kyle looked between the two of them. He was obviously pissed that he couldn’t keep trying to pressure Ryan into caving in and agreeing to a date or whatever he was after. “Oh what, so you’re some kinda slut now? Why’d you even flirt back with me if you have a boyfriend?”

Ryan shifted under the weight of Shane’s arm. He didn’t bother trying to insist he _wasn’t_ flirting back, was in fact doing quite the opposite, but he knew the guy wouldn’t listen to it.

Shane was absolutely wasted, and it was very obvious as he spoke. “How _dare_ you talk to m’ boyfriend like that,'' he slurred slightly. “You— I— my fist should be in your nuts right now, you jackass.” 

Kyle looked skeptical. “You’re not even worried why your boyfriend didn’t mention he was taken the whole time I was talking with him?”

“You probably didn’t let him fuckin’ speak. I don’t care what you have to say. Get out of my face before I punch you.” 

The man narrowed his eyes. “I don’t believe you. Ryan, here’s my number, call me sometime.” He handed Ryan a fucking _business card,_ as if he couldn’t get any worse _._ Shane grabbed it out of his hands and, in a moment of weird impulsivity, shoved it into his mouth.

“Shane. Babe.” Ryan ignored how much he liked the way the two words slipped from his mouth. “Why the fuck did you just do that.” 

“I’m ASSERTING MY DOMINANCE,” Shane yelled back, mouth full of paper. A few heads turned. “Now fuck off and stop talking to my boyfriend.” 

Kyle spat at Shane as he stood up and turned away. Shane jumped to his feet, obviously about to pick a fight, but Ryan grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Shane, dude, now is not the time to be catching some assault charges.” 

Shane was obviously annoyed, and articulated as much by blowing a raspberry at Ryan. “I wanna kick him in the dick. How long was he even talking to you?”

Ryan grimaced. “Too long.” 

“Do you wanna leave now? Go back to my place?”

This time he sighed and leaned his weight against Shane. “You’re having fun, I don’t wanna make you leave just yet. I can always take an Uber back to my apartment.”

“Nah, no fuckin’ way I’m letting you out of my sight. That scum of the earth fuckhead might come back.” 

“In that case… can we go?” 

“Yeah, c’mon.” 

Shane tugged Ryan out of the bar by the hand. He didn’t let go while they were standing outside, the air warm and slightly sticky. He probably never would’ve let go, but he was struggling a lot trying to use the Uber app one handed, so Ryan let go for him. 

They had to wait fifteen minutes for their driver to arrive, so they found a bench in the meantime. Ryan laid his head on Shane’s shoulder. “Thanks for that. Dude was fuckin’ creepy, and I tried a million different ways to get him to back off, but he just… wouldn’t. I couldn’t find it in myself to just tell him to fuck off, I have no idea why.” 

“Because you’re _nice,_ Ryan. I, however, have the power of copious amounts of tequila in my bloodstream, and therefore do not care if I am being an ass to some random dickweed.”

“And I am _very_ thankful for that.” Ryan was quiet for a few seconds before asking his next question, feeling nervous. “How come you kissed me like that?” 

Shane shrugged. “I thought it would be fun and convincing. Mostly fun. You’re pretty hot. Oh, shit, I didn’t mean to say that part of it out loud.” 

Ryan laughed loudly, although it turned into wheezes towards the end of it. “You’re not wrong. About all three.” 

“Oh, shut up.” 

He laughed some more, but it was short lived, because Shane was kissing him again, one hand holding the side of his face. Ryan pressed forward eagerly, caught off guard but still much more ready for this one than the one in the bar. When Shane licked at his lips Ryan opened his mouth, his hands fisting themselves in Shane’s shirt collar. 

When Shane pulled away he tried to follow, before he caught himself. 

“So, how long have you wanted to do that for?” Ryan asked. 

“Hmm…. a while now. You?”

“Just about the same.” 

“Damn, you should’ve got hit on by someone creepy way sooner.” 

“Guess I should’ve.” 

Their Uber pulled up, and Shane’s phone buzzed with a text from the driver. 

Shane stood first, offering a hand to Ryan. He took it, and Shane kissed his cheek quickly before heading towards the car. “Let’s get going, Bergara.” 


End file.
